"Life is short, have an affair".......... umm, really?

The infidelity stories never really come to an end do they? These sad stories of men cheating on their wives, or boyfriends cheating on their girlfriends, or vice versa get so glamourized in Hollywood!

But, what's really caught my eye while reading through Samantha's Brett's Column in the Sydney Morning Herald is learning of a website www.ashleymadison.com where the website's slogan, shockingly and very clearly reads, "Life is short, have an affair."......... Ummm, say what? I know back in the day when I was in school there were all sorts of sayings such as "life is short, make the most of every moment" etc, etc. But "life is short, have an affair" screams out controversy loud and clear.

So, firstly a little introduction to the Ashley Madison website, it was created by Noel Biderman in 2000. It is a website that grants a space for either married or simply dating men and women who are keen to fulfil their sexual needs elsewhere, because in other words they want to have the best of both worlds and are afraid to lose their partner. So, what's the solution for people like this? A website that grants that space to meet others, as the secret will always be kept safe between two cheating spouses. You can only imagine, that the response to a website such as this, falls under the negative category as it accuses "... Biderman of breaking up relationships and destroying famillies while making money of it" states an online article by Godwin (2009). Biderman is basically trying to say that marriages continue to fail nowadays due to the pressures of sex and monogamy. It's beyond my imagination that someone would genuinely think a solution to this is creating a portal for people to come together to make cheating emotionally or physically easier, without being caught out. It's literally gaining pleasure and $$ over another person's grief..... sounds pretty ridiculous and worrying to me.

It's websites like this, along with the portrayal of cheating scandals in the media and TV shows that glamourize cheating on a partner as something "exciting" "refreshing" and "new". What happened to good ol' values and trust being one of the most important factors in a relationship? When trust has been eroded, what is left? A broken heart and insecurities that one has to deal with for a long, long time.

In this online article on NewsBlaze, Biderman lastly states "For so many people, they love their spouses. Not everyone wants to leave their spouses. In the end, I'm providing an outlet." However, isn't there other safer outlets that life provides to deal with sexual or emotional issues in a relationship? I think a website like this, takes being open-minded to a whole new level and it's a little disturbing.

An interview in Time, quoted Mira Kirshenbaum who said "I really thought that affairs were fatal for relationships but they're not..." and "... many, many people are able to use the affair as a wake-up call and end up so much happier with a relationship that gives them what they need, instead of being on automatic and pretending that everything's okay." This applies, if both parties carry qualities of genuinely apologizing (the cheater) and forgiving (the cheatee). Now having read this, there are mixed feelings because I have seen this little theory work out between a couple. At the same time, I could never forgive someone for breaching my trust as those lessons have been learnt through some hardships encountered in the dating game along the past few years. There are couples on the other hand, where one cheats and apologizes as he/she waks up and realizes it's not worth it, and the other forgives, because they have a big heart. But, my question is..... how do you look your cheating partner in the eye? How can you love someone who has deliberately gone behind your back and found emotional support or physical affection in a woman/man that replaced YOU for those brief minutes or hours?

After reading about this Ashley Madison website, I honestly feel.... are all moral values in our society being eradicated one-by-one? There are wars and religious debates that have the world in a fix..... and are important matters. How do people find the time to strip human behaviour further by granting a platform for cheating partners?

- By Simran Sagar